Discovery of Heaviest Element Known to Science

          A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the

heaviest element known to science. Here is more information on this

fascinating scientific discovery…

The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one

 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy

 neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

 surrounded by vast quantitites of particles called peons. Since Governmentium

 has no electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected because it impedes 

every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days 

to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium

 has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a

 reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy

 neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each 

reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe the

 Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in

 concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

          It has also been found that when catalyzed with money, Governmentium

 becomes Administratium – which is an element that radiates just as much

 energy as the Governmentium since it is has half as many peons but twice as

 many morons. I invite you to keep an open mind and to keep walking in this

 big weird world of ours!

I’m Average Joe

email: OurWeirdWorld@gmail.com