Monday, October 24, 2005

Discovery of Heaviest Element Known to Science

          A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element known to science. Here is more information on this
fascinating scientific discovery…
The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one
 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy
 neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
 surrounded by vast quantitites of particles called peons. Since Governmentium
 has no electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected because it impedes 
every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days 
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium
 has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a
 reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
 neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each 
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
 This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe the
 Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
 concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
          It has also been found that when catalyzed with money, Governmentium
 becomes Administratium – which is an element that radiates just as much
 energy as the Governmentium since it is has half as many peons but twice as
 many morons. I invite you to keep an open mind and to keep walking in this
 big weird world of ours!

I’m Average Joe



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