A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element known to science. Here is more information on this
fascinating scientific discovery…
The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one
neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantitites of particles called peons. Since Governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes
every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium
has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe the
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
It has also been found that when catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes Administratium – which is an element that radiates just as much
energy as the Governmentium since it is has half as many peons but twice as
many morons. I invite you to keep an open mind and to keep walking in this
big weird world of ours!
I’m Average Joe